ARE YOU TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE - Complex of Saviour
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Are you one of the good guys in this world who live to help the others?
Have you ever felt misused or manipulated from others?
Have you ever got impression that that ones who ask you for help are actually in much better position then you are ? And you have urge to help them anyway, even if that lives you in very unfavourable position?
Do you believe that you need to completely deny yourself and that you need to sacrifice your own happiness in order that others can be happy?
Are you constantly inspired by saints and holy people?
Do you feel guilty if your heart is not constantly wide open?
Do you constantly have need to give to the others while not being able to receive anything?
Well, if you recognize some of these symptoms in your behaviour, you became "to good to be true" or better to say, you became "evil" towards yourself. What cannot work well. You will not became saint if you think about yourself as not worthy to fulfill your own human needs, you have just - lack of love for yourself.
It is not balanced behaviour if you constantly give to the others what you are not giving to yourself - sooner or later your "saviour complex" software will start to show all mistakes you are doing to yourself, and you will become bitter or constantly ill (tumors are very often result of constant surpressing of one´s own need in favour of others) Good people need to become much more "egocentric" and "selfish" in order to attain balance in their life, as well as selfish ones need to learn how to give to the others.
If you, the good guy, want to survive on this planet, you need to be " selfish enough to want good for yourself as well".
It is much easier to be good then bad, and goodness is certainly one of the most beautiful human characteristics....which can be so easy misused from others.
This goodness in human hearts, in combination with low self-esteem is widely misused by various organizations (religious, political, business ones) that manipulate with "good, non-selfish people" - the best you can get from them for everything you give is some kind of non-material reward...or promises. Reward can be anything abstract, from simple words like "thank you", or some kind of medal for good deeds done to the promise of paradise.
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Why is manipulation happening?
Because of vital energy - there are people, groups, organizations who feed themselves only with energy of others.
Many people are used to live on other´s people energy only, since their childhood. They do not want to grow up and become more responsible for themselves, and find their own source of vital energy - they always need others to parasite on them, to help them live. Such people think that everyone in the world is supposed to help them and that whole world is created just because of them.
- They are that ones, who usually create problems and then expect from others to become the heroes or saviours and solve their problems. if you fulfill such expectations, you will certainly not progress - sooner or later you will get stuck. If you learn to recognize such people, avoid them and tell them "NO", you will save a lot of vital energy - for sorting out your own life.
- They are that ones who think that the others have "God given powers" expressed through themselves just to give them away freely to anyone. In their mind, anyone who has any knowledge or gift just wakes up one morning and says to the God:
"Well, God, please give me that ability, I need to save humanity".
God answers: "No problems, you are my chosen one to help the others FOR FREE, without any effort from their side, here you are"....
In the following minutes, dramatic transformation starts to occur, and "chosen one" becomes completely full of endless energy, power and desire to free humanity from suffering on any possible way: to heal them, to clothe them, to feed them, to save them, to fulfill any of their imaginable wishes, needs or desires...while denying oneself. Chosen one is not supposed to exist any more as individual with human ego- he is just "instrument" of God´s love, one big heart that yearns to cure the others, beam of light and love which creates the miracles like Santa Claus in supermarket giving toys to the children. "
This story sounds familiar, from modern movies, fairy tales and religious legends, doesn´t it?
The absurd of humanity is that we believe in that and expect that others behave as our saviours, or we play role of one.
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Well, every "chosen one" sooner or later realizes that it takes a lot of effort, work and knowledge to become good in helping, and this tremendous work cannot be done if there he/she does not receive what needed for that help: money or any kind of needed and well deserved MATERIAL reward. Anyway if someone wants to help, this person needs and deserves ALL MATERIAL TOOLS for helping the others . In addition to that, one cannot regularly help while being poor and while starving. Correct?
Altough is real happiness certainly far beyond realms of material existance, we live here and now in material world and in this world we need to enjoy and this world (created by nature) we need to respect as well.
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It is very normal that people do help each other, we all are here to learn that lesson. There are times and situations like we have now in Haiti where helping the others is the most natural act .
But not every human desire is important enough to be called "emergency" - so for "too good" people is very important to learn to distinct "important" of "non-important"... and people who are always in some sort of "emergency" from that ones who really need help. Usually the last ones are more quiet and less pushy.
After all - we do not live only with people on this planet:
- there is whole world of NATURE around us that needs our help: animals, plants, woods, waters of the Earth....every human "goal" or "desire" IS NOT ALWAYS TOP PRIORITY...there are the others living beings here, beside us humans and our life-goals we need to think of. If we would look the world on that healthy way, our world would not be so chaotic as it is today.
When you have your urge to help, choose wisely and help for the good of the whole creation, this will make you truly happy and fulfilled. You are beloved part of that creation, so please do not forget to help to yourself as well.
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Tatiana Mihaela Pribic
Reiki teacher and holistic healer
For my online healing services (consultations, homeopathic remedies, long distance healing) please contact me on my e-mail: mihaelat999@yahoo.com Prices of my online services are on my profile page http://hubpages.com/profile/Tatjana-Mihaela
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CommentsLoading...
Thank you very much, Mary, for sharing your experience. We need to give and receive help. So many people are ONLY giving or ONLY receiving. That is imbalanced.
Thank you for the visit and comment, Peace and Light.
You make a good point... My wife gives everything of herself everyday - she does get back from our children and their spouses - but she does not seems to get much back from anyone else... We're talked about this many times... I will give her a link to this hub and I think that she will start following you... Thanks again...
You are amazing. you really are. Honored to be your fan
Thank you, RB, you are great husband when you want to help to your wife on that way. Thank you for visit and comment.
Thank you so much, Ashwingpa, this is really great compliment. Thank you for visit and comment...
Where do you come up with such fascinating subjects? I like the fact that you pointed this out and brought to light the truth out living saints. There are, I'm sure, some people in the world that believe that they are self-righteous in the matter and cannot be wrong (I like the little 'play' on God and the Savior-very funny). Sometimes I think that my eldest sister is trying to save the planet one family member at a time :D
I couldn't of said better myself...You really don't save anyone if you can't save yourself!
Amazing hub, Tatjana-Mihaela!
A great hub and with a lot deept thoughts. I enjoyed every line of it and it made me think about a lot of things. Well done, Ttjana-Mihaela, and thank you.
I'm afraid I've put my butt on the bar-be-cue many times and for extended periods. I've found myself in dire straits with nothing left to give, I thought. Still, there's always something to give and always something to lose.
Thank you very much, Dohn, I just have a lot of life-experience...
Give my regards to your sister, she will learn one day that she needs to think about herself as well.
Thank you for visit and comment, I appreciate your visit here as always.
The part you wrote about balance really struck home. Now that I am unemployed I have more time and energy for my family. I don't know how I did it all before, I need to recruit them to help me with the housework and cooking or when I go back to work I'll never make it, especially the older we get the harder it is to do everything!
Thank you, Hello-Hello, I hope I inspired you.
Thanks for the visit and comment.
Wow, Mickey, giving is so nice, but receiving is also beautiful.
Thank you so much for the visit and comment.
My savior complex is not for humans, but I will save anything from a dying plant to a snake. My empathy for humans gets me in trouble, though. The Haitian situation keeps me up at night. I have a friend whose mission is the isle of Haiti and he is there now. I want to give him all my money. I can't, but I want to. How do I balance that?
Hehe, Gracie Linda, women more often have this urge for giving. Saving plants and animals is great (and is not directly connected with saviour complex) it just means that you really have heart full of love, energy and time to give that love (it can be problem only if one lives with many animals together in the flat, LOL).
If you feel that you just have urge to give, send love and energy instead of fighting with urge to give all your money. This love and good wishes will help that somebody else help them on the most sufficient way. BTW, people in Haiti need a lot of things right now, and whole world is sending them a lot of help...so they will very probably get what they immergently need, and for first steps for the future. But in long term, they need WISDOM and KNOWLEDGE to prevent such tragedies that are caused by poverty and overpopulation. As well as whole world need awareness about preventing tragedies caused by climate change. I am sure that melting the ice and new big amounts of water in the oceans have a lot to do with such strong earthquakes. So when we want to help, there are many ways we can do (not only sending money).
I trained my "saviour complex" with using logic, not always impulses...so there was a lot of thinking and analysing. After intensive self-training, I do not feel guilty any more when I cannot help, neither (too) sad. For all of human tragedies, humans are responsible, so at first we need to find REAL CAUSE of the problem and then help to raise awareness about the cause.On that way we can help a lot.
You are writer on HP: so you can really use POWER OF YOUR PEN to help to this world...and balance your urges when you know that they can be harmful for you.
Thank you very much, Anywhere Gardening, being unemployed is so often great to balance the life.
Earning money online is also possibility...
Thanks for sharing your experience here and thank you for the visit and comment.
A much needed well written article. Giving of the self without giving the self away. For many to learn to recieve the gifts they need as well. This is why so much giving stops because we cannot serve water from an empty cup and so many give without getting a refill and maintaining their own resources. While others drink from others cup and never bother even getting their own cup in the first place. Thank you for this timely reminder, well done!
Thank you so much Emohealer.
You could not better describe the main problem especially we healers face "While others drink from others cup and never bother even getting their own cup in the first place".
Love and light.
I have to thank you so much, Tatjana, for sharing this post. I am exactly the person you speak of in this post, always denying myself and my needs to sacrifice for others. I feel guilty if I don't. Thank you for showing me that this is not healthy for me.
Thank you very much, Antoinette, glad that I could helped you.
Now Tatjana, you look adorable in the first picture! I agree, nature and returning to innocence. Our world needs help. I think that many people get caught up on the planet replenishing itself. Just as the human cells in the body deteriorate, so too, does the effects of the destruction of nature. Fantastic hub, as always.
Thank you so much, Dali, you mentioned in your comment favorite part of my Hub.
Thanks for visit and comment.
It's very interesting.
Thank you for your good article.
I will be reading often.
It's really great.
Thank you, samsan, as you see I left just one comment of yours, I did not want to disappoint you. Your spaming is not original at all.
More luck next time.
Thank you so much for your comment, AIDY, I cannot agree more with you. Your observations are - great.
Love and hugs.
I'm moved by the depth of your article. I see many individuals with the same loving, caring, god-given characteristics that are manipulated by cunning, self-centered men/women. Sadly, I see this trait more often in women; usually who are manipulated in this way by men they become attached to. Manipulation & control make no preferences. And women who are prone to this trait make willing recipients. I am now your follower. I hold much admiration for you.
Thank you very much, Recover Today on your wise comment and for joining my Fan club. I will follow you as well.
Hi Tat ~ thought I would pop over and see how you were doing on the Hubpages. I see a very "worthwhile" hub for people to be introspective about their relationships. The relationship with "self" is of utmost important. Many ways in which we do not treat ourselves kindly. It's really hard to look in the mirror. Love, Debby
Thank you very much, Debby, glad to see you here. Many thanks for the visit and comment. Love and hugs.
Helping others is good as long as it is not interpreted as interference. Thanks for the article Tanja! :)
Yes QS, happy to see you here, as always.
Kako si Tatjana Darling,
Long time no chat; I miss your love & hugs. Well I am active on Hubpages again for the time being or until I beat your score & exceed the limit of followers. I am not jealous but envious of you. Your work is always great & very original.
Are you talking about me in this hub? That is me too...it's like I am suffering from the whole worlds pain. I am kind & I always like helping people & I can't stop. Many times in the past, my feelings were hurt because not everyone you help appreciates.
I always say I am not going to do it again but when I see someone, I can't help. I do think we should help people in the need but everything has its limits. Temporary help is ok but that will not solve the problem. If you really want to help, someone then help them find the permanent solution.
Love, Peace & hugs........
Hi Tony, I am busy, very busy, so due to that exchausted when I stop being busy.
Sometimes I think that people do not want to rely enough of themselves, they just love to find somebody else to solve their problems, because of that mental laziness I am also too busy...
Love, peace and light
Thanks Tatjana,
It's always nice to hear from you, don't worry I know & understand. You are working very hard, anyone can tell from the kind of hubs you are publishing.
It is not laziness but just burnt-out, it happens to everyone so don't worry & take it easy.
I am taking a big break this summer, two months of traveling. Take care & have a wonderful day.
Love, peace & hugs ???
Hehe, Tony, it is not MY mental laziness, some of my clients are mentally lazy - hahaha, my role is to replace their brains - hehe. I just wish to find the way that they pay me more for being their brain.Brain is expensive!
Love and hugs
Well Tatjana,
I was surprised because I know you don't have a single lazy bone in your body........hahahaha.
Also you need a new manager for your business, I guess your BF cannot handle two jobs at the same time....hahaha.
Have a wonderful day...
Love, peace & hugs...
Thanks for this Hub Tatjana. The line between caring and controlling is a very fine one, which many people do not recognise and they go over from caring to controlling very easily. And it is a temptation for anyone who has compassion and empathy. But to guard against this we need always to be able to see things from the perspective of the person we are trying to help. And of course our intention should be caring for the other person not getting our kicks from their gratitude or whatever.
An important Hub.
Love and peace
Tony
Happy Valentines day Tatjana.
Love, peace & hugs......
Happy Valentines day to you, Tony!!!
Love peace and hugs to you and enjoy yourself today very much.
mmm...food for thought.
Thank you PR.
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VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
Tatjana: Just sent the link to this hub to my sister, as we both were too giving to the point of giving away our power, but that has changed. I try to help in ways that empower others, such as supporting an artist's work, or a writer who just published a book, or may provide information that can help someone, but there are no more co-dependent interactions in my reality; its not healthy or good for anyone's karma. As mentioned by you, there are times when giving is appropiate; I have recieved help from others, which healed my heart and soul as when I was suddenly without work during the aftermath of the 9/11 in New York, so I always try to help, but with more wisdom nowadays.
The article you wrote is filled with wisdom!