LOVE: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FOUND MR/MS "RIGHT"?
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The most common questions people (mostly women) ask me while I do the counselling are:
Have I met my soulmate?
Have I recently broke with only true love of my life?
Is he (was he) Mr.Right or Mr.Wrong?
Term "soulmates" is very old...it is legend which says that each of us was separated a long time ago on two parts. But the other part we desperately seek is actually our own higher consciousness...unconditional love within us -for all, not for the one person only.
Nowadays love experience of majority of people looks more like soap-opera then ever. We live in turbulent times, our relationships are very often turbulent ones. World is changing, traditional roles in family are definitely changing, all together looks like big creative mess of some famous artist, before new art is created. I perceive it like new dawn of humanity who has to find new ways how to relate to each other on the more reasonable, honest and responsible levels then before. Whatever we have illusion of, a lot of "good old ways and rules" in families and societies did not work, if they did, whole planet would be in Paradise already...
Although we are all ONE, and created from the same cosmic source, between men and women is definitely big difference...Nowadays women usually expect the Prince of Charming who is their Hero and Saviour, most often men expect just passion and no responsibility. Even when they are ready to commit, men much more tend to have funny and comfortable life, women want to carry the burden of the whole world on their back ...at least on the beginning of the commitment, till the point they start to realize they accepted too many responsibilities (f.E. full-time job, children, housekeeping...too much of it on one person). Very often typical female quote is : "I will manage ALL that somehow, I MUST do it" and on the opposite site is men`s motto "life is big game, letś enjoy it". I must admit that women has to learn something from men: to enjoy life more, and not to rush into deep ocean of responsibilities, before everybody in the relationship is completely ready to accept it. There is NO "MUST" on the beginning...only good will. "TO MUST" begins with credits and children, not before.
Be honest with yourself
Each person we meet and have relationship with is Mr. or Ms. Right. At least for certain period of time. We can learn something from everybody, everybody has some qualities to be exchanged with us. Even Mr/Ms Wrong is Mr/Ms Right...or was Right for some time, for some lessons to be learned... But marriage + children are something we should not be played with (nor men neither women).
Our relationships are created on our conscious and subconscious levels. They are materialized projections of our inner sweet dreams and night-mares, of our hopes and fears.
Quantity of love and passion we feel for somebody is not a guarantee that this is the person we have to live with "happily ever after". Very often the big passionate loves do not have "happy ending", they might burn themselves and become ash and dust, or can survive and be every day stronger and more romantic. There are not rules, no generalizing.
Basics of every relationship are friendship, respect and mutual understanding, all of these do not come overnight. For everything in this life we need love,time and patience. Love, time and patience are magic sticks which can create sparkling miracles in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships.
Last year I had many "love offers" from the guys, but none of them wanted relationship, just affair. Then I had honest conversation with myself, and realized that this situation happened because I was not ready for commitment, I needed full freedom, and that is why only such opportunities were around. When I felt more ready, situation changed.
If you cannot find the "right" person for you, it is not question of your bad luck: it is about your inner readiness for certain level of commitment, or lack of any. After few "bad" or "wrong" relationships, we might become more ready and grateful to accept the good one. On that way we can more appreciate Mr/Ms Right: permanent, long-standing relationship.
So be honest to yourself, and before you enter into the relationship, or even if you have "wrong" one, have a little chat with yourself, possibly in the front of mirror:
1. What I do want from relationship? (I, just Me, not my parents, relatives or friends) Do I want just flirt or romance, or I am ready for long-standing relationship or marriage with children?
2. If you cannot find the answer, try to concentrate on your inner love-imagination you have, what is really in your dreams...listen your inner voice and you will find the real answer.
3. If you feel you are not ready for something permanent, do not feel guilty: only expectation you should fulfill is - your inner need in the certain moment, not anybody else's. Only you can know what is right for you.
If you find a lack of readiness for too deep commitment, this is OK. You just need more time. If you feel you do not want children, it is also OK. Life can be fulfilled without children as well, is better to be honest, then to rush into responsibilities which you cannot cope with. A lot of people are afraid if they parents have roller coaster marriage, to enter into something permanent: they do not have positive example, they do not know how to cope with other person, they do not have emotional intelligence developed, they are afraid they will be left, so they do not commit. Even people who have good example from their parents, might be afraid of too responsible challenge in the front of them.
Long-standing relationship
When you are ready for commitment right opportunity will arrive. Such person will never insist to have sex only, such person will be willing to build relationship gradually, and would not run away on first mentioning of future together.
When you will have such person next to you, be patient: observe yourself and the other person in all possible life-situations, living together is good test of adjustment. But it takes time, enjoy the living together, enjoy the process of letting know each other, do not rush with having the children. Nobody forces you to have them (at least not to early), do not behave like somebody is standing up in the front of you with the gun and telling you: "you MUST do it NOW". Be relaxed and enjoy the togetherness. Become friends, not only the lovers. Passion does not stop with friendship, on the contrary. Jealousy and possession disappear with friendship, because of mutual honesty.
Some men seek in relationship replacement for their Mothers, some women for their Fathers: friendship is much more appropriate level of love.
Find with the person you love mutual interests, and when you find them, these will be projects of your life and foundation of your longstanding future.
Have children only when your relationship becomes balanced and materially secure..and when the both partners are REALLY READY. For everything we need time. When you put seed in the land, it does not become the tree immediately, and it does not give fruits instantly. Remember that your long-standing relationship deserves at least so much time as one fruit tree to grow, to give the flowers at first and then abundance of fruits of love. For all that we need years, not weeks or months.
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Serious online dating - Relationship Counselling
If you are interested in serious online dating, for long-standing relationship,you might try this website, it is filtered for serious dating only:
http://www.soulmates.united.love-match.net
If you need responsible e-mail or chat counselling, Astrology, Numerology or cards, you can contact me through my e-mail, via hubpages or through my profile. (But...it is not free, he, he).
A lots of Love to all of you, and wish you the best relationships you can imagine.
CommentsLoading...
I agree with you, we create Mr./Ms.Right...with our love and patience.
Ha - the both of us have seen more unhappy, then happy relationships...thanks to our jobs.
Real relationship needs time and many, many compromises.But, sometimes, love magic just happens...With some people is easier to compromise then with the others...
Thanks for your wise comment.
I love the photo of the lion and the tiger! :D
Yes they are cute: love is great... Thks for stoping by.
Hi Tanya!
Like the lady right on top said, nobody's perfect. So, looking for perfection is not wise. Not looking for perfection is unwise! Confused? LOL!!!
Thanks for the hub! :) :) :)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, I completely understand your point... Your thoughts echo mine. Glad to see you here!
You said "If you cannot find the "right" person for you, it is not question of your bad luck: it is about your inner readiness for certain level of commitment, or lack of any." but there could be a situation where someone had a bad relationship before and wants to go for the another one but somehow is scared of yet another breakup. I guess this is yet another situation where some people are ready for long relationship but is taken aback due to previous experience.
Nice Hub, I enjoyed reading it.
I don't think that there is such a thing as a soulmate, or "the one". I'm sure there is more than one person out there, which is a great thing! What if your soulmate never got born, or was in outer Mongolia?
Ha ha ha ha ..... good one LG. What if "the one" is born in other part of the world?? waiting for such a person is worthless.....
Dear Packerback, if somebody is scared is not ready. How can somebody be ready for anything while trembling from fear?
LG and PB I beleive, there is more then one person who could be the "soulmate"...for majority of people. With some persons you can have better relationship then with the others. It depends what people imgaine when they say "soulmate"...If you share good and bad with somebody, and the both of people want to build up the relationship properly and compromise, this person becomes "the soulmate"...after some time... That was the point of my Hub, which is answer on the request.
Well I just thought of a situation. Maybe your right, if a person is really ready then he should not fear.... but as you know different people different opinion.
I agree with an awful lot of your hub - I think it's great.
He, he, he, PackerBack fears sometimes save us from the biggest life-mistakes...when I did not have life-experience, I had fear to prevent me of doing some horrible mistakes, which I did not do. And I am happy because of that now.
I agree wrth you.if somebody is really afraid, and wants something, at first must to heal the fear...there are many ways for doing that.
Thanks for your kind comments.
Tatjana- When two persons decide that this is the person for the rest of their lives then it shouldn't be based on just physical looks as then those tend to fade away pretty quickly. I personally don't allow any liberties with men unless I am married but that is just me. I guess in some societies the pressure is too much and their might be some truth in the saying that "men give love to get physical relationship and women succumb to physical relationship to get love". At least for myself I feel better to be safe than sorry. I might not have as much so called "fun" in life but I am prepared to forgo it for the sake of eventual "happiness" after marriage.
My mother once told me that we don't have to undergo all experiences in life (some of which may be bad) to learn in life. We always can use our hearing/observing abilities to arrive at good judgement without undergoing any unwanted experiences. Very nice thoughtful hub.
P.S: 2 ads clicked for a great hub ;)
I also have a comatibility service that is based on ancient astrological prociples. http://astrosynchronicity.us/stars
LondonGirl, thank you very much.
I know this theory about soulmates you mentioned...and agree with you. Our soulmate can be our relative, friend, somebody who is far away...There are many people who I know and who are "the souls of my soul", because we understand each other so well. But we are not in love relationship...
What a lovely, personal hub. Nice pictures, too!
Knock! Knock! Tanya, let me in once more please!
Just wanted to say that I used to think the term soul-mate was used to explain a situation where rapport of the highest order was achieved between two people. This term has always been associated in describing relationships between two people of different genders.
Since the "soul" is involved here, the rapport generated is "expected" to be magical.
On the other hand when two people have the very same intersets, the law of magnetism barges in somehow.
Like poles repel!
So what's my point? Play by ear! LOL!
Dear CW, I appreciate your attitude very much. You have high quality life-start. 90% of people in the world do not. This is statistic fact. We have to carry our karma on the way karma is given to us, and every experience might be good... even the worst experience are here to teach us and the others, what could be better way.
Women can controll their sexuality much more easier then men. At least, majority of us.
Men with /too/ high level of testosteron who cannot express their sexuality tend to fight, argue,hate, a lot of them rape ,there are many incests in the families,they rape small children ...etc. This is natural urge, not something what some of them can easily control.
When girls start with relationship, they usually want something serious, gradualy. When guys start relationship, most often they want just good sex, excellent cooking and houskeeper. And person who does not complain. A lot of them get married because they are sexually attracted to the woman. (women also do the same mistake). These are the facts. A lot of men cannot bejust friends with women, because they cannot surpress their sexuality...it is a pitty because friendship is the most valuable way we can learn about about another gender and find the proper ways of communication (without sex involved).
Your Mum is more then right: observing is good way of learning, but lot of people rush into experiences...it is not easy to stop when you start with something. It takes time. And is different way of learning,more painful, but is also learning.
Thanks for your kind comment, and for ads.
Love & Light
Hey, Vrajavala, I believe you will put my add on your Hubs, like add-exchange?
He, he, he, Love & Light
Thanks, Tom for your nice comment. Thank you for stopping by.
Tatjana- I don't know about a lot of men but I do know that some may indulge in vicarious pleasures when unable to control themselves(i.e, by surfing on internet or reading literature which appeals to them) instead of resorting to any anti social or unwanted incidents. I guess I have a very nice father and also had a wise grandpa both of whom I can't imagine being driven by "hormones" hence I feel it isn't too appropriate to generalize to vast majority.
Yes I do realize I am fortunate in a way as I do have good parents and nice relationships so far in life. I have also observed one thing in life so far that those who need the advice most seem to be the least receptive to it and those who least need the advice are sometimes most receptive. I guess it also has to do with individual temperament too.
P.S: 2 more ads clicked ;)
Dear CW, like you, I like asking questions and getting answers: male? sexuality is like pressure...which has to find the outlet (especially in younger age, but very often not to be connected with age). Experience of majority of women (and mine) if you say "no" more then 2 times in the raw to your partner...he becomes angry, nervous, has nightmares, after some time seeks another women... Before I was shocked because of all levels of prostitution because or porno-movies, sex-chats, ...now I do understand why is that. Without it, a lot of men would be mad. People need advice, because they need healing...and need somebody who is neutral observer, to see what is going on from another point of view... It is not about accepting advice from another person, it is more, like observing situation from another point of view... We all need couselling, sometimes...I like to learn from the others very much. Thanks again, Love & Light
Hi, Quicksand, glad to see you back... When we find somebody who has similar interests, who with we can easily talk, be friends...can read each other thoughts... it is pure soul -to -soul-connection.
In love, you build up relationship, if is permanent, and the both of people are open to each other, can become soul-to -soul connection.
You are right: when you find somebody who with your interests match, and you can support each other and grow together - that is that. That is your "soulmate". But, soul-to -soul connection happens very often with the same gender...or the opposite,without sexuality involved.
Term "soulmates" is very old...it is legend that each of us was separated a long time ago on two parts. But the other part we desperately seek for is actually our own higher consciousness...unconditional love within us...for all.
When you find that love within (and you did), and let it express itself, is much easier to find appropriate partner...
Tatjana, I was very happy to see that one of my favorite writers wrote about one of my favorite subjects. :) You did a beautiful job with this and I love what you wrote about truly seeking a relationship with our highest consciousness. I completely agree with you.
From my experiences, everything you said about love and relationships is correct. There were times in the past when I tried to convince myself that someone was "the one," despite all evidence to the contrary, but deep down, I knew they weren't. I think we sometimes have karmic connections that lead us to stay in relationships long after the good times are over, simply out of habit and a fear of being alone.
I believe we have many soulmates. As the word "mate" suggests, I think they are several companion souls we meet again and again in numerous incarnations. They can be lovers, teachers, friends, siblings, etc... the book Journey of Souls has a fascinating discussion about "soul groups" that we belong to and contracts we make with each other before each lifetime begins. After reading that, I was able to let go of any impatience and desperation I had about meeting my "soulmate" in favor of trusting that I had made an agreement with someone to be partners for life, and we would meet when the time was right. :)
If you're still searching, I hope you meet your partner soon. I'm sure he will be an exceptional person. When I met my mate, I was filled with a sense of peace and gratitude, with no impatience or doubt. The doubt comes later, when you're scrubbing the floors and he's playing his video games. ;)
Tatjana- I hope I didn't mean to sound as if you were not receptive on the contrary you appear very wise and receptive. I had an experience when my suggestion fell on to deaf ears and later that girl confided in me that she wished she could heed my advice (to avoid the pain she suffered later). Yes your personal experiences and counseling sessions surely must have given you lots of insights which we all are lucky here to be at the receiving end...hehe.
Dear CW, do not worry, I did not take your words personally at all... When I do the counselling, I do not expect that somebody will listen my advices any more...Some people do, some do not.
But...when I do the healing counselling (homeopathy-radionics), I do worn people that they do not expect that remedy will magickly heal everything, diet, positive approach etc have to be involved from their side as well. But, to tell you the true, I am very often surprised when somebody say: YES, i will listen all your advices... That situation happened two days ago, when one my client wrote those words, I am still surprised that somebody is ready to follow all advices considering the health. Suggestions very often fall on the deaf ears, but is better to give it then not. Love and Light and thanks for encouraging words.
Tatjana - did you miss my comment above?
Tatjana,
I think that most people, if given the definition of "soul mate," will agree that they've never met their soul mate. I've been married forever to the love of my life, but I doubt we're "soul mates." I'm rather glad because we have worked through some amazingly difficult stuff together over the years and THAT is part of a relationship. It is also part of life.
Good Hub, good stuff to think about.
Dear Tatjana,
“Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.” David Pratt quotes
Today you are trying to answer a difficult question. Before I start your soulmate link is dead please fix it. I like countrywomen's & Madison Parker's comments. I believe they are right in their opinion. countrywomen's cultural background & family bonding is different than western culture. Here is what countrywomen wrote........
I personally don't allow any liberties with men unless I am married but that is just me. I guess in some societies the pressure is too much and their might be some truth in the saying that "men give love to get physical relationship and women succumb to physical relationship to get love". If I am right then there is no concept of girl friend & boy friend in India. I believe that's what countrywomen means.
What country women is trying to explain is that men only want physical relationships with women. I believe it's true & a latest research has the same results too that man only want sexual relationships with women. Now in western culture girlfriend - boyfriend is part of life many relationships happens before people find some one they call soulmate but that is still not good. Here are the divorce statistic here in America.
Divorce rate in America after first marriage is from 41% to 50%.US divorce rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67%After 3 marriages the US divorce rate is from 73% to 74%
There are several reason people want to get married now a days at the first place. Madison Parker's life is an example of soulmate search. I really loved what Madison Parker wrote because it is very true relationships are not oneway traffic couples have to work out things together.
"we have worked through some amazingly difficult stuff together over the years and THAT is part of a relationship."
I believe this is friendship, love, soulmate or whatever you name it.
I guess my friend Tatjana's idea of soulmate is different. Here is what I believe she means a soulmate..........
Some believe that a soul mate is someone with whom a person has shared other life times through reincarnation.
The soul mate could be a friend, business partner, parent, child, sibling, spouse or other family member. These soul mates can be of the same or opposite sex.
Other Half: Others believe, like the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, that a soul mate is a person's "other half". This concept was the basis of the movie, "The Butcher's Wife" where the idea of "split-aparts" searching for one another was explored.
People all over the world believe that we are all searching for someone to make us whole and to share our journey of life with.
“When my grandmother was alive, she used to tell me that every time God creates a soul in heaven, he creates another to be its special mate. And that once we're born we begin to search for our soul mate, the one person who's the perfect fit for our mi”
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt. According to this my soul mate should be in Thailand.” Jason Zebehazy quotes
Love, Peace, Light, Money, Honey & happy ever after........hahaha
Dear Melissa, did not miss anything, just wanted to answer to you, and the storm here started, connection to net failed...it Now I set up Internet connection again, I will become master of fixing it, he, he...whenever is storm, there are problems.
I agree about your theory of having more then one soulmate...because I feel it must be true. One person can help me/you to see myself/yoursellf from one point of view, the other shows me/you the other points of view, each partner can activate some specifical qualities...we can learn from every person we have relationship with.
Sometimes people just cannot progress while staying in one particular relationship, is time to move on and learn on different ways. I believe in same with you: we share karmical paths with certain people for many lifes, just different roles to play.
Many, many thanks for your kind comment...
I wish you also the most perfect relationship. I have bf, and we are progressing. After 8 months of very often cold war while living together (process of accepting the other person) we have nice relationship now, we learned how to compromise, and this came literally overnight (It was influence from higher realms, I believe, something happened what grounded my bf, and his ego is now normal, he, he, he)-
Love and Light
Dear Madison,
I am relly glad when I hear that minority who say "I did meet my real soulmate", and that really enjoy the high level of compability.
Some of us have to work harder to get this quality in relationship. You can be proud, because you did not get the instant gift from the universe, you worked hard to create a balanced long-term relationship . The both of you learned leesons of many lifes in just one.
Tnaks for your kind and wise comment
Mr. Nice, my dear friend, your comment is great as always...you are also part of my soul...
I agree with you.
I fixed the link, now you can check it, but do not get frightened. If this one looks too serious, I have another one, as well:
http://www.dreams.come.true.love-match.net
Love, peace, happiness....as always
Love and light.
Dear Tatjana,
Sorry for my impatience earlier. :) And thank you for your response. I'm glad to hear about the progress in your relationship. An overinflated ego can be the death of a relationship so I'm glad your bf found a way to get his under control. As a Leo, keeping my ego in check is probably my greatest challenge. As an astrologer, I'm sure you know all about that. :)
Love and light to you as well!
Dear Tatjana,
I have no words to explain the honor you gave me & considering our friendship as part of your soul, that is very kind & sweet of you. That's why you are unique & different I am similar like you too, you know why..... I promise I will never let you down in our friendship & the honor you gave me.
I am glad things are now working in between you & your BF. I believe it was the last homeopathic remedy you gave him that cleared all the symptoms of your boyfriend & he started behaving like a good boy. Do you think you can now say that you found Mr.Right. Now just make sure not to give him an antidote to the last remedy..........hahahaha.
Love, Peace, Light & happy ever after..............
Dear Melissa, Everybody does hove problem with ego, bigger or smaller. Leo is great horoscop sign, that one with the highest level of energy, but they may be another planets which give you some challenges as well....
I learned a lot about myself after reading my own horoscope, (the other two readers of it helped me too). Astrology is great because it can explain us the way how we can use our energies on the best way...in order to succeed.
Thanks for good wishes, a lots of love.
I like your words...they touched me deeply, many times thank you for them. I am also honored with your friendship.
Have I found Mr.Right still do not know, but he behaves as normal human being now. What is very nice. I told you that angels got involved...something happened on his job, what grounded him plus he was taking so many natural remedies lasts monthy- so they started to show results, he, he, he....And we have a cat from recently, she also helped a lot. Now I am very content and grateful. We will see, what will be the next.
Love, Light, Peace and all happiness and joy plus a lot of money, of course.
I am so lucky, that I have found the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am also a firm believer in soul mates! And believe me you'll know for certain if you meet your soul mate, as everything just falls and fits into place!
Dear Tatjana,
I am thankful & appreciate you liked my writings & you were touched by them very much, whatever I wrote was based on true feelings. I was touched by the way, you write & also I find you very charismatic too.
I am honored & blessed to have you as a friend too; I hope our friendship will prosper in the future. I believe friendship is very special & unique relationship; we cannot compare this relationship with any other relationships except blood relations.
I hope you & your bf can work out your relationships because it is very difficult to find some one compatible for life long relationships. Most of marriages end up in divorce with in 1 to 5 year’s in America & the divorce rate is almost 50%. I don’t know the divorce rate in your part of the world but as we discussed before I think it’s not good either.
I am sure the homeopathic remedies are working on your bf just make sure not to give him an antidote to the last remedy because you know all the symptoms will return no good………hahaha
Love, Light, Peace and all the happiness...
A relationship is something that is easy at first but has to be continually worked over time. Too many now just want to jump ship when the relationship is really just getting started. The introductory phase is the easy part! But you can for yourself decide if you want to make it work, and they can decide on the other end. If you both agree you will live happily ever after.
Thanks Wadey 101, I know that such luck is possible...and wish you and your girlfriend all the best you can imagine, from all my heart: joy, love, abundance, happiness..
Thanks for your comment.
Thank you Tony...in homeopathy is essence of love - love always heal.
And I am also very,very thankful to have you as my friend as well.
Love&light....and all the nicest you can imagine....
Yes Ashley, I do agree with you. Relationships are like tests: it is not always easy to keep them alive and interesting when become permanent. It happens to ecerybody. Good times, less good times... Well, wto persons when start to live together unitel all their ideas, dreams about future, energies from the past...It has to be taugh at the certain point.
Thanks for your comment. You have very cute child...
Make a list of "must have's", "must have not's", "would like to have", and "would like not to have". This should help figure it out in a logical way. That is what I did and found the love of my life. The list was long, and if he did not have all of the MUST HAVE'S then it wasn't right, as well as not having any of the MUST NOT HAVE'S. The 'would like' and 'would not like' categories have to be weighed - if there is more positive than negative, or more would's than would not's - you got a keeper. Does that make sense? I know it sucks to have to think about love like this, but in the end you will want someone who meets your needs and you will find that in reality love is a choice. Choose the one who will work with you. Hope this helps.
Hi, SH - this is exactly what everybody should do. Great idea. !!! It is exactly what everyone should do, in order to one`s needs to be met. Thumbs up, I am your fun now.
Very interesting hub tatjana. I am married, with four children, so I see your points. I could only wish to be certain of love... I guess I just have to trust...
I think your husband is worth to be trusted to... When you relax and start to trust him, you will enjoy your marriage much more.
Love & Light
Kako si Tatjana, you are right love heals but not all the time because love is contagious, it can make you sick & even can kill you too, so just be careful, spreading the love you can make others sick, getting into love you can get sick yourself too.
When you are is search of Mr.Nice oh no sorry I mean Mr.Right never tell him this funny quote.........I can't stop laughing.......hahahahaha
Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?
That's not funny read this one too.........
God made mud god made dirt god made guys so girls can flirt.
Love, light & every thing else above your imaginations.......
Hello Tatjana, It's me again one more funny quote..........
*Star light ....Star bright .... where the heck is Mr. Right?*
IT'S GIRLS WORLD AND GUYS JUST LIVE IN IT!
That's not right I am sad now......
Love, light & every thing else above your imaginations......
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Tony, Ha, ha, ha,
Why do not ask where is Miss Right?
He, he, he,....
Love & Light
Kako si Tatjana,
Wow cute photo great new look I believe the photographer was very professional.......hahahaha.
Can you give me his address please, so that I can replace my baby photo too......hahaha
I guess Miss Right is also searching for Mr Right.
~And now here is my secret, a very simple secret;it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Love, light & every thing else above your imaginations....
Ja sam jako dobro a kako si ti, Tony?
Yes I agree with you, you should replace your photo: that one belongs to the ancient age...he,he, he...
The photographer is my bf, but, if you pay him flight ticket to the USA (ha, ha, ha), he will take pic of you...what would be good desicion because I would not mind to be alone for few days, he, he, he, he.....
A lots of love&light and eternal joy...
hvala vam ja sam jako dobro previše Tatjana,
Ancient times was good & that's when I was very cute & also Mr Nice too......hahaha. But now I am only handsome & very innocent... Can you tell from my photo....
I guess your Bf loves you a little bit.........I can tell from your photo.....
~Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.~
Hans Christian Anderson
lots of love & light and eternal joy...
Yes, you are right, he does love me...This picture was taken on Velebit, in May.
On Croatian when you say "ja sam jako dobro", this is OK. But word "previše" means - "too much".
Since when you started to learn (hm) Croatian?
hvala vam ja sam jako dobro odve? Tatjana,
Thank you I am very well too Tatjana.
Teacher can you tell me if my sentence in Croatian is correct now?
I said your Bf loves you a little bit not a lot..........hahaha
I started learning Croatian since the first day you had a crush on me.......you don't remember......... may be you were flirting with someone else too..........hahaha.
I think it's good to know some Croatian before I visit.
lots of love & light and eternal joy...
I have just discovered your comment... (Hubpages service did not show me any unmoderated comment YESTERDAY, sorry)
I am always flirting with everybody (except clients).
Do not worry, a lot of people here speaks English (not everybody), especially younger one, but if you learn a bit of Croatian, you should learn it properly. Well done!
"Ja sam jako dobro" or "dobro sam", should be enough. There is no need to say anything else.
If you are excellent, then you can answer "odlichno" .
L&L
dobro sam kako o te, Thanks for replying to my comment & for the Croatian language help.
"odlichno" spelling should be odlicno & it means excellent. Here is an example.....
ti si odlican - You are excellent.
You will be my tour guide so I am not worried....hahaha
I will be adding more hubs hopefully today, so keep your eyes wide open......Sorry hubpages canot display Croation alphabets properly.
uzivati tvoj dan i ne guriti se danas
lots of love & light and eternal joy...
He, he, he....
Anyhow, I have also published new Hub, several hours ago...
L&L
SRETAN Valentina DAN Za vas I TVOJ DJECAK PRIJATELJ.
lots of Love, Happiness, Abundance....and many hugs ...
Thanks Tony, your Croatian is good!
But, let me correct you:
SRETNO VALENTINOVO TEBI I TVOM DE?KU:
What are you doing today?
Love, love, love
Kako si Tatjana,
Thanks for the Croatian language help. I think my Croatian sentence is also right.
SRETNO VALENTINOVO TEBI I TVOM DE?KU
I think you mean happy Valentine to you and everyone.
Please check it with the English translation. It was quite day for me nothing much exciting. How about you?
SRETAN Valentina DAN Za vas I TVOJ DJECAK PRIJATELJ
HAPPY Valentine Day to you and your BOY FRIEND
Always lots of love...........
Well, Tony, let me assure you that my Croatian is perfect...
Boyfriend = de?ko
(but if you separate boy = dje?ak, friend = prijatelj, but boyfriend is still = de?ko).
If you say "za vas", it means FOR YOU (but plural)
If you say "tebi" it means TO YOU (but singular)
"Valentine)s day" we call simple "Valentinovo".
In English grammar there is 4 cases (Nominative, Genitive, Dative, Accusative), in Croatian there is 7 (we also Have Vocative, Locative and Instrumental). Our grammar is much more complicated, then English.
F.e. "my friend", MOJ PRIJATELJ:....and for female friend, MOJA PRIJATELJICA
Nominative: MOJ PRIJATELJ /MOJA PRIJATELJICAGenitive: MOG PRIJATELJA /MOJE PRIJATELJICEDative: MOM PRIJATELJU /MOJOJ PRIJATELJICI
Akkusative: MOG PRIJATELJA /MOJU PRIJATELJICUVokative: MOJ PRIJATELJU /MOJA PRIJATELJICE
Locative: U MOM PRIJATELJU /U MOJOJ PRIJATELJICI
Instumental: S MOJIM PRIJATELJEM / S MOJOM PRIJATELJICOM
Roots of Croatian language are Slavic, but original roots are from India and Persia, so there is very little connection with English.
It does not exist any software which can succesfuly transtale from English into Croatian, and vice versa. Because we adore to change our words through cases, and on many other ways.
Verbs we change also:
To be: - ja jesam, ti jesi, on (ona, ono) jest, mi jesmo, vi jeste, oni (one, ona) jesu
He, he, he...not easy, believe me....
Love and Light
Kako si Tatjana,
Wow, you are excellent teacher & very right because it's your language. With all your explanation, I started feeling dizzy.
However, I don't see any Indian and Persian link for Croatian language because your language uses Latin alphabets & I believe it has Slavic background.
In addition, Serbo-Croatian language is divided into 4 main dialects:
* 1. Chakavian
* 2. Kaykavian
* 3. Shtokavian
* 4. Torlakian (or eastern Shtokavian)
Now, Shtokavian dialect is further divided into 3 subdialects:
* 1. Ekavian
* 2. Ijekavian
* 3. Ikavian
Which dialect you speak. Here is an interesting link I found about Croatian language. How about you write a hub about Croatian language.
http://www.hercegbosna.org/engleski/croatian_langu
I am using internet resources to learn. How about this one............testing you......hahaha
sretan Valentinovo da vi i vas prijatelj decko
Lots of love........
Thanks Tony, recieve many warm hugs from me....
Kako si Tatjana,
You are still not sleeping ? Congratulayions for silver medal for handball game. Next time try hard for gold medal. Did you participated in making worlds biggest sausage in Zagreb........hahaha
Here is some thing very interesting.
Honey it's over: Croats use mobiles for breakups
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/090213/oddities/cro
Good night sleep tight & don't let the bed bugs bite........
Lots of love .............
Aha,. to answer you: I speak Shtokavian and kajkavian and now live on the place where is dialect Chakavian and Ikavian and I can speak it.
*BUt: Shtokavian with Ijekavian is offical dialect, so we all speak our official language, plus our dialect, if any. It is not so easy: every town and village has different dialect....But when I speak about grammar, I always speak about official Croatian language, which is like I said Shtokavian and Ijekavian, he, he, he.... Original Croatia alphabet is not Latin....it is GLAGOLJICA, at least from 9th century. We do not use this alphabet any more.... How does it look like, you can see underneath my comment. Lots of love.
Kako si Tatjana,
Well you are the best & perfect. Thanks for helping me to learn more about your language & culture. GLAGOLJICA alphabets looks like one of the languages but I don't remember which one.
In order to learn a language you must love the culture & people the rest is easy.
I love people, cultures & like to learn foreign languages. May be you should write a hub on Croats & Croatian history plus culture. Do you want me to make a request ?
Lots of love forever...........
Well, since Croats came here in the 7th century our history is history of fighting, more or less, because we are situated on the place where western and south-eastern Europe cross...So every now and on, here is some fire...Karma...what to do? Better not to mention history....I like to write about the nice things
Culture is more interesting, I will think about something, but please wait with request, I still own one about healing the adrenal glands....
By the way, I wrote new Hub, about healing depression....
Ja sam dobro, a kako si ti?
Love.....
Cu
Ja sam dobro, a kako si ti?
Don't worry I will not make any request on this topic.
Lots of love....
I just published a new hub, whenever you have time check it out. Here is the link.........
I agree with most of the comments. It is completely within our control to have mr/ms right. Love is not enough it needs fuel to move on and one is commitment.
Thanks, Broyce fo your comment. When one is ready, everything is possible...I also agree with you that true love is commiting oneself to the relationship...
Thanks for stopping by.
When you love someone, you can't be afraid of commitment and long term relationship. Mr/Ms Right are the one we love, it only depend upon how we behave with that person and how understanding we are.
I knew before I met the woman I'd marry that I'd marry her (we met online). It was an unexpected and pleasant flash of intuition. Less than 2 years after we met, we were married.
Thanks Gracy for your comment. I respect your attitude, and it is very healthy one.
But...a lot of people, especially men, are afraid of commitment even when they are in love. It is happening so often. Love is one thing and compromising with somebodies life-plans is something completely else. Sometimes is true love not to enter in permanent relationship with the person who with would be to difficult to find a compromise.
Thanks for your comment and for stopping by.
Intuizionzone, thks for your comment and for sharing your positive experience. I wish you very, very happy marriage!
I was a little surprised that the common question asked by women is: have i met my soulmate?
Question T-M: why do you think women ask for an absolute approval on Mr Right anyway?
I agree with you about the magic sticks. They certainly create miracles.
Well, Newsworthy, when somebody is asking for counselling, in 95% cases someting is wrong already. Love is love, it can be very passionate (women usually think that passion is synonim for deep love ), and women very often think if they have strong emotions, that means it is "someting special" about that particular relationship, which is most often rotten already.
Women actually do not expect absolute approval on Mr Right, they are most often aware that this is Mr. Wrong already, but they just want to make sure about it. Mr Wrong is somebody who is not ready for responsible relationship.
Today, women dislike to spend too much time, energy and emotions on the dreaming about person, who is not appropriate for normal relationship. Women usualy want relationship, a lot of men - just fun, without any responsibilities at all.
Thanks for your comment and question, I hope I answered on it.
Hey Tatjana,
Would appreciate if you advise on the confusion I am having.
To tell you a little of my family background.
Didnt have a very pleasant childhood,grown up seeing my parents fight and later divorced.
Also my love life was not good as 5 times I loved someone and it didnt work out.The anger which was there because of things not working out is still within me as I never got angry on the guys who came in my life and had hurt me.
Presently dating a guy with whom I am compatible with and he loves me crazily.Our familes too met and everyone in his family likes me and vice-versa.I do like him as a person but not too sure if I love him or not as sometimes it makes me feel I love him and sometimes I doesnt.Also whenever I think of marriage it scares me a lot,thought which my X-BF I never had any fear of marriage.
Also once I said yes for marriage and because of my fear asked for more time.He understands me and does not push me for anything.I do like to spend time with him,to talk to him,etc.
For me most important thing is love which I sometimes feel for him and sometimes I dont.He keeps telling me that I love him but its just that I dont realise it or becuase I have not come over bitterness of the past so I am scared.There is fear of commitment and also at same time I dont want to loose a person like him.I know no one can love me as much as he does but then I aso need to be sure if I love him only then I will be able to live happily and give him that love and happiness.How can I know if I love him and can spend my entire life happily with him?How do I get over my fear?
Appreciate your advise on it
Regards,
Khushi
Hey Tatjana,
Request your advise on the confusion I am having.
A little about my family background.
Didnt have a pleasant childhood as was grown up seeing my parents fight and later divorced.
My love life was also not good as 5 times I loved someone and things didnt work out.Also I didnt take out my anger on any of them itz still within myself.
Presently dating a guy with whom I am compatible and love spending time with him.Our families too met,his family likes me and vice-versa.He is a nice person from a very good family,his parents too are nice.Have told him everything about my past life.I love talking to him even for a day if we dont speak to eachother I feel as if something is missing from my life.He loves me crazily.I am not too sure if I love him or not as sometimes I feel I do and sometimes I dont.But I know it is something more than friendship.
One day I told him that I am ready for marriage but later there was something which was scaring me,the fear over powered the love I felt for him and told him that I need more time.He does not push me for anything and understands me.He keeps telling me tht I do love him but dont realsie it or maybe because of my parents been divorced or my experience with my X-BF makes me scared.
Can you please help on what should I do.I am scared of committing for life and at the smae time I dont want to lose a person like him who loves me crazily,cares abot me and for whom my happiness matters.How do I over comes the fear?How can I be 100% sure if I love him or not?
Appreciate your help on it.
Thanks and Regards,
Huttu.
Dear Khushi,
I feel a lot of compassion for your situation, because I also had a lot of traumas in my past (divorced parents, as a product of it - chaotic love life, there was war in my country... etc) which I had to overcome in order to have happy and successful life.
Your boyfriend is right : the lack of love you sometimes feel and fear is due to your past. You do not know how to open your heart permanently, because you never did, and you did not have good examples. Fear and luck of feelings is caused by your traumas. You should heal them. If you do not heal them, they will just become bigger and bigger, as well as your anger (I understand you completely, because this was also story of my life-experience). You cannot be sure in anything when there is so many negativity, stored in your memory: in brain, nerves, hormones. But IT CAN BE HEALED
It is very good that your boyfriend do not give you any pressure.
You asked me if you love him and how can you be sure...the main point is that you should learn how to LOVE YOURSELF, and be content with yourself, and open heart for yourself to allow yourself to be happy in your life. That comes naturally with overcoming fears and traumas.
I used many different alternative techniques for overcoming them, but the most important point is that traumas and fear come mainly from the stressed neural system, have impact on hormones and create new fears and traumas. People who were not happy are not used to be happy. Your memories are "written down" in your brain, in your neural system, in you endocrine glands, because your body is creating hormones of fear when you are supposed to be happy. I have written in my other Hubs about that problem.
As an alternative healer, and while healing my personal traumas and many other people ( I am healer for 13 years), I am sure that the following is needed:
1. natural remedies for attaining calm nerves and hormonal balance
2. you need to let out your anger on appropriate way. (there will be much less of anger after nerves become calm and hormones balanced)
3. some treatments or counselling...in order that you learn how to attain state of inner joy.
It is a right time for you to start: you have very good motivation, the man who loves you and adores you. Such motivation can help you that you heal your emotions more quickly.
If you decide to choose me as your healer, I would be very happy to professionally help you through this process. or at least through the part of it. (Recommendation of the most appropriate remedies, e-mail or chat counselling....etc....there are many ways, and I use the most appropriate methods for each my client. The prices of my services are also affordable).
I wish you from all my heart that you can feel joy of life, trust, love and happiness...When you start the healing, you will feel difference very soon, and then, ONLY THEN when your feelings start to change, you will be able to open your heart to the men who adores you.
You are lucky person...to find somebody who has patience and respects you so much, as your boyfriend does. Through the healing process, you will be able to realize that, and start to love yourself...and this kind men next to you.
This is a very thoughtful article--thank you, Tatjana! Now, when your readers have determined they ARE with Mr. or Ms. Right, they can check out my article "Moving in Together" for tips on how to merge two households! :)
Katy
Thank you very much Katty. I am also planning to write about the similar subject, soon...from my poin ot view, of course, but I think that all people come to the similar conclusions...at least women, he, he, he.
Thanks for your comment, wish you all the best.
Life is a commitment and its a commitment towards life also. Thanks for very good hub. Enjoyed reading with all the long line of comments.
Thank you very much, Sangha for your nice comment.
I enjoyed reading this hub about love and love relationships. I have learned a lot of information here. It's a timely read as Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Thanks!
Thank you very much, Lita.
. . . and by the way, I find this hub a good link to my latest post, so I just did. In fact, it's my first attempt to hub link, it's great! Thanks!
Thanks Lita, congratulations on your first Hub link. You can put link to your Hub here in the comments.
Wish you a lot of success here on HP...
Relationships are never easy. They require 24/7 constant care and love. I truly believe in soul mates...whether or not you find yours in your lifetime...Sometimes we just settle for whatever reason. We become comfortable and stop looking. True love is exciting but to keep it alive needs work from both parties.
Great hub.
Thank you Stacy for your nice and wise comment.
great hub tatjana..well done!
Thank you very much, HG.
Making a Pro/Con's list. 10 main things you cant live with out. Ask those questions that need asking because its important enough. Then listen and pay attention. Example: Non smoker, Non drinker, Respect , Manners, How one Communicates in all area's of life , Knowing how to have disagreements with respect and manners. More interest the same then not. Loving yourself enough to be true to yourself. Be what you expect in the other person. Keeping a Balance in all one does in life. Never wanting to change that person or them you because you have more pro's then con's and it flow's more naturally then not.
anjalichugh Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago
We are, most of the time, either scared to commit ourselves to a long term relationship, or simply feel burdened under the unexpected and unforeseen pressures which come as a part of the deal after we get into one. I think one should think of a life long commitment only when one is prepared for it. As far as Mr / Ms Right is concerned, I don't believe that we ever stumble on any such person in our lives. No one is perfect. It's all a matter of adjustment and compromises which, nonetheless, becomes easier if the element of 'love' is present.
Thx for a nice hub.